Bring it back one time!

Even typing this first sentence and formulating a thought on a blank screen seems so odd to me right now.  It's been years since I've last visited this page and I feel like I am dusting off the old grill sitting in our garage, unsure if it will fire up or if it has been too long since I've last used my critical thinking and writing skills (using that word loosely) and everything is just rusted and unusable by now.  I'm not even 100% convinced of why I'm here.  I had originally started this as a way to review the excitement and thoughts of a new chapter in life, and hopefully one day Zay would be able to read it and catch a glimpse of our perspective in raising him.  Well, I've missed some of the most critical moments of his toddler-hood, but I reckon better late than never.

Since the last post, Zay has turned from a baby toothpaste butt dispenser to a well-rounded, handsome, hilarious little boy.  He has a heart of gold and is so sensitive to his emotional surroundings.  He asks intelligent questions, and makes intelligent arguments ("Uncle T once fell down a motorcycle and he got hurt and maybe there was blood everywhere so you can't be like him, okay?").  Gone are the days of poosplosions and random hair loss, but he has maintained his cheery side-grin and his satellite ears.  He's also been promoted to BIG BROTHER!  It's strange that our biggest interjection in their relationship has been telling him to lay off and kiss his brother a little less, or play with him a little gentler.  There is no ill will, no jealousy, and he has had no issues with sharing our time with him.  Well guess what, Zay?  Now you will also have to share this blog with him!

Introducing for the very first time:  VICTOR XAVIER YU born epidural free (not by choice) at Kaiser Hospital on 4/12/2018

Dealing with a second child has been a whole other beast in itself and I won't get into it too much today or else I'll never finish this post.  I'll do a follow up next time but yesterday Victor aka VicVic aka Lil Vicious aka Tucan Vic aka what happened to that boy brrrrr! turned 5 months.  Time has been racing by and hopefully this blog can serve as a stop sign for me to pause and reflect without letting everything turn into a blur.

Now, for my favorite part of any blog, book, or article: PICTURES!

12/08/14

I had an incredible experience and opportunity yesterday when I came across this homeless gentleman digging through the trash cans looking for something to eat. Despite his tattered clothes and missing teeth, he was cheerfully calling out "merry Christmas" to everyone that walked by. I invited him to have dinner with me and we just talked and ate until the restaurant closed. We shared about struggles in life, things we were thankful for, God, sports, family, and everything in between.
 We hugged each other after, encouraged each other, and went our separate ways. It was a welcome reminder for myself to not be so absorbed in my own world all the time and to approach all things with a thankful heart. Happy holidays!

Edit:
When we sat down for dinner, I told him that I always say grace before meals so if I could give thanks for us. He said "I was hoping you would" so I led him in a prayer. He told me about how he used to believe in God but then became firmly rooted against God. He said that he wants to start getting back though and this was a sign from God that he is there.

He threw an envelope on the table and told me to open it. Inside was a $20, a subway gift card, and a business card for Venture Christian Church. He told me he got that no more than 10 minutes before I met him. We then started talking about faith and he told me his favorite Bible stories are of Joseph, Daniel, and Job. He said because the bible always referred to them as being "rich in the spirit". I told him that what makes their story incredible is that they all started "rich in the world". Having everything in the world and then brought down to nothing, and still being able to be "rich in the spirit" is truly the essence of the story. I said it's easy for people to be religious or faithful or thankful when everything is perfect, but being able to call out to God and be strongly rooted during the downtimes is the true test.

I've never really done this before and I found myself so unprepared to share my testimony and my faith on the spot. But our conversation was just as good of a reminder to myself as it was encouragement to him. By the end of our evening, it sounded like he had a very different outlook on Christians. Praise the Lord!

Toothpasting

"It's comin fresh out the oven!"

"you damn right you're wipin my butt"

12|04 update

Yesterday Melissa called me into the room to look at something the baby was doing.  Turns out she wanted me to watch him poo.  It just came out slowly and steadily like a frozen yogurt machine, swirling onto the diaper.  I felt sick yet it was hard to look away because it was so perfect.  Fresh tube of tooth paste perfect.  I held my nose the whole time but then I started thinking about all the poo particles going into my mouth and I ran to the sink and gagged.  Melissa on the other hand was fascinated.  I guess there's something about being a new mom that makes you immune to these kinds of things.

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Last week was Thanksgiving.  Boy is there a list of things to be thankful for this year.  Our house is (more or less) a home now, we got a new baby, and we got a new car.  All major milestones.  I told Meliss that next year I hope I can be just as thankful, even if there aren't any life-turning events, though I'm sure there will be .  It's easy for me to get caught up in life and family and career but everyday I thank the Lord for Melissa and Isaiah.  On top of that though, I'm so thankful for the love in our family, the support from our church and friends, and all the other small things that make life run smoothly.

But anyway, we decided to bring the baby to our 10th annual 'Friendsgiving' hosted by her childhood friend Kristine.  Melissa had been asking if we'd be able to bring the baby to Friendsgiving since before Zay was even born.  I didn't think it was a good idea because he was scheduled for delivery on Nov 5 and wouldn't have been a month old yet.  Zay apparently had other plans and came out a good 2-3 weeks early.  Our hostess friend recently just bought an oceanside property too so it just solidified our resolve to swing by.  We figured we wouldn't be there long but just long enough to make an appearance.  We had rules set on who could hold the baby, that everyone had to hand sanitize, and a 2 drink max in order to handle him.  Let me tell you, as soon as we walked through the door, all the ladies went beserk and all our rules went out the window.  The baby was passed around so much that I barely had a chance to hold him throughout the night.  Something about having a baby in the house made all the girls' voices go an octave higher so the house sounded like everyone had sucked in helium balloons.  It was nice though, because it got a lot of people talking about "how grown up we are now" and "remember when 10 years ago..." and other insights.  I hope that having firsthand held a new baby would have planted some sort of seed for our young married friends and Zay can grow up with some companions.  We ended up staying there til past 2am and Zay was right in the midst of people drunkenly screaming, taking shots, and getting hyphy.  I heard they even had Zay twerk, which I do not approve of (I'm shaking my head while writing this sentence).  But that boy was knocked out for almost the entire evening.  The loudness of the party and the music even bothered me, but baby Zay don't wake up for nobody!

Happy Thanksgiving y'all.  I'm unashamed to say that I started listening to holiday music the day after and I'm excited to celebrate our first Christmas together as a family.

Zay still gets all fidgety when I hold him and kiss him.  It's getting better though.  You can't get away from my barrage of kisses, boy!!

Cheeks starting to fill in nicely in week 7

Mommy does all the grunt work with the baby... but they've developed an understanding for each other.

10th Annual Friendsgiving 2014

1 Month update

Things have been a little crazy at home with Zay lately.  For some reason he's not feeling right so he keeps crying and when I say crying I mean shrieking.  The sound is blaring in my ear and all he does is eat poop and sleep so I don't know what could possibly so bad that warrants such a noise.  I thought as a parent I'd get used to the noise by now, or at least approach it with a little more compassion but I've even contemplated screaming right back at him.  You know that scene in Lion King where little Simba thinks he's all fierce in the elephant's graveyard, roaring at the hyenas (wattup Whoopi!) and then Mufasa comes out of nowhere and delivers that Bose 5.1 surround sound roar?  Yeah that shut everybody up.  I doubt it'd do much to this little guy though.  The only thing that will shut him up when he's in the zone like that is sticking a bottle in his mouth.

So like I said, he's been super fussy lately and he hadn't taken a dump in 3 days.  I figured it's cuz he backed up.  The coworkers at work were all freaking out... saying if he didn't poo every day he might need to get surgery.  People told us to give him water, press on his tummy, even massage his butthole (pass).  Melissa seems to be a lot calmer about all this because she's been using Google as her doctor and according to Dr. Google, sometimes babies won't have BM (new lingo I learned) for up to 20 days.  Still, it concerned me that he'd go from 100-0 so quick so I had her call our real doctors over at Palo Alto Medical Foundation.  They gave her some suggestions similar to what I had heard so Melissa started prepping the station, getting ready to 'suppositize' his butthole.  Right then and there, he started pooing.  Meliss called me in an excitement to tell me that the baby finally poo'd and while I was there jumping up and down on the phone celebrating with her, a sense of shame crept over me.  I didn't recognize this new me that cheers with joy and relief over my baby pooing.  This past month, I've been dreading every changing of the diaper, hoping that he DIDNT poo.  Shrug.  It's growth I guess.

Check out these pictures from last week:

|11|22|2014|  2 Days after his one month.  We decided to take him out to take studio pictures as a family.  One of the worst experience ever and it had nothing to do with Zay.  He just slept the entire time.  Didn't bother to look up even once.  

|11|23|2014|  First Sunday going to church.  Had to put him in his Sunday best.  The nerves were killing me that day.  Being around hundreds of people, many who have no boundaries or may be sick, totally freaked me out.  People were touching his face and leaning in all close.  Back up!

|11|23|2014|  A cake I bought to share with everyone in celebrating his one month.  Seemed like most people were too eager to eat cake to notice my clever wording.

|11|25|2014|  A major milestone for Meliss and I.  First time buying a new car!  So ironic that the car that hit us, forcing us to buy a new car, just so happened to be the new RAV4 as well.  But our hearts our so thankful that we can even  think about buying a new car.  We feel very fortunate and blessed.

Maybe its Maybelline #flawless #browgamestrong

I put that picture all the way at the bottom.  How could you possibly be mad after looking at that?  I know I started off this blog a little frustrated, but I wanted to be able to keep it real.  Having a baby isn't all just little cutsie moments all the time.  There will be times when I feel too overwhelmed to care.  I just hope that our tiredness and frustration never serves as a wedge between the relationship of Melissa and I.  So far, we have been a very solid team and it's what keeps us surging forward.  We need to be there to always encourage each other and pick each other up.  Onward ho! <- not you, Meliss

La Familia

Starting to get the hang of this guy.  I actually miss them when I'm away at work.

Recap Pt 2

Coming back from the hospital on day 2 was an experience in itself.  I don't think I could've driven any slower or more carefully if the car had pots filled to the brim of hot soup.  No, I had with me a package with me that was so delicate and fragile that going over a speed bump would probably break all his bones.  The temperature had to be perfect, soft music playing (not too loud), didn't want the sun in his eyes, and absolutely no talking because daddy had to focus on the road and get you all home safely.

We had the house professionally cleaned before we came home, and we were so excited to introduce the baby to his new room... all decorated and fully furnished top to bottom from his mom's dedication and stubborn love (there was an instance when we were at target buying baby items and I asked, "don't we already have this?" to which her harsh response was "david, i know every. single. item. in the baby room so don't be asking me what we have and don't have."  Sheesh!)  The next two days were kind of a blur.  The life change was just too drastic and sudden that I was unable to register what happened.  Melissa was gracious enough to let me sleep while she stayed with the baby and who knows how many hours the baby kept her awake those first few days?  I walked out in the morning to find her curled in a ball freezing, lying next to the baby in his bassinet.  It was such a wonderful image that showed a mother's devotion and love for her child.  It earned her some instant respect.


2 days after we get back from the hospital - while the struggle of taking care of a newborn was still very real - we had to bring the baby out to his first pediatrician visit.  Turns out the baby had jaundice, which is pretty common, but from the pediatrician, we then drove to a lab in mountain view, then went home, then got called to go to el camino hospital where we had to leave the baby there overnight while he got his tan on.  I was so excited at the prospect of getting a break (even though daddy duties didn't constitute for very much yet) and just spending some time with Melissa.  We picked up some take out, and went home and watched movies together.  It was the perfect evening for me.  But a few times throughout the night, i'd look over at Melissa and catch her looking at pictures of baby Isaiah.  I could tell that she was distracted and when I asked her about it, she asked if we would be able to go back first thing in the morning to go check on him.

Anyway, turns out the baby was okay.  We spent a couple of hours there and when we got back that night, we checked Melissa's blood pressure.  Her preeclampsia symptoms were supposed to go away when she delivered the baby but her blood pressure was still abnormally high even post partum.  We had been averaging around 150/105 (normal is 120/70) but that night, it came back at 175/122.  We immediately called the doctor who told us that these numbers were life threatening and we had to get to an ER right away.  So we call up some loved ones nearby to come watch the baby for a bit while we go get this checked out.  At the ER, they immediately admitted her and said that they'd have to closely monitor her at least until tomorrow.  I didn't want to leave Melissa in the hospital by herself, but at the same time, I didn't want to leave a volatile newborn with others and I knew damn well that there's no way I'd survive a night with just me and the baby so there was only one thing to do... I drove out of the hospital at 1:30 in the morning to go pick up Isaiah and bring him back into mommy's arms again.

There we stayed for the next 2 evenings.  They plugged her up on some magnesium IV that made her feel like crap but it never slowed down her resolve to care for Isaiah.  No matter how sick she felt, she'd still feed him, hold him, swaddle him to sleep.  With no practice, not even the experience of holding a baby, Melissa somehow perfectly fit into the mold of a loving mother.  I, on the other hand, still had much to learn.  But I'm just glad to finally be back home.



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So that was our first week with baby Zay.  It definitely wasn't easy, but it was an adventure.  I feel that it strengthened the bond between Meliss and I as partners, and it made us thankful of the small things.  We had a lot of people caring for us and praying for Melissa's health.  Sometime the last few days (I'm writing this on 11/10), Melissa's blood pressure just started tapering off naturally back to normal.  She's stopped taking medication tentatively and our recent monitoring shows that her BP has not gone back up.  Praise the Lord!

|10/23/14|  Baby's first night back in the house

|10/24/14| Overnight Jaundice treatment

|10/25/14| Back to the hospital we go to support mommy